6 Steps to Boost Low Self-Esteem!
- mollybrimson
- Jun 18
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 19
Low self-esteem can subtly influence how we navigate the world. It can colour our relationships, hold us back from new opportunities, and impact the way we speak to ourselves. If you often feel not good enough, overly self-critical, or like you're wearing a mask just to get by—you're not alone, and it doesn’t have to stay this way.
Improving low self-esteem isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about learning to meet yourself with more compassion, honesty and care. Below are six gentle, grounded steps that can help start that journey.
1. 🌱 Notice Your Inner Critic
Begin by tuning into your self-talk. Are there specific phrases you say to yourself when something goes wrong? Words like “I’m useless” or “I always mess things up” often go unchallenged in our minds. Start to simply notice when this happens. You don’t need to change it straight away—just notice it with curiosity rather than judgment.
2. Challenge Harsh Thoughts
Once you’re aware of your inner critic, you can start to question it. Ask yourself:
Is this thought 100% true?
Would I say this to a friend?
Is there a more balanced way to look at this?
Often, our low self-esteem filters distort the full picture. Gently challenging these thoughts opens space for kinder, more realistic perspectives.
3. Connect with Your Values
When self-esteem is low, we can lose touch with what matters to us. Reconnecting with your values—things like honesty, kindness, creativity or courage—can help rebuild a sense of identity. What qualities do you care about? How might you live those values in small ways, even when self-doubt is present?
4. 🕊️ Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion isn’t self-pity or self-indulgence. It’s the practice of treating yourself like you would a friend going through something hard. Try placing a hand on your heart when you're struggling and saying something like, “This is hard right now, and I’m doing my best.” Over time, this can help soften the harshness of your inner world. Other techniques include:
Use “compassionate voice” exercises to speak to yourself kindly
Practice writing a supportive letter to yourself
Visualise your compassionate self guiding you through challenges
5. 🌸 Celebrate Small Wins
Low self-esteem often dismisses our efforts. Begin to notice and honour the small victories—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, setting a boundary, or simply getting out of bed on a hard day. These moments count, and acknowledging them builds trust with yourself.
Exercise:
Start a daily journal of things you did well, were proud of, or felt good about—even if small. This builds new neural pathways and balances out the negative bias common in low self-esteem.
6. Reach Out for Support
Sometimes, low self-esteem is rooted in deeper wounds—from past relationships, childhood experiences, or trauma. Speaking with a therapist can offer a safe space to explore these roots and develop new ways of relating to yourself. You don’t have to do this alone.
Final Thoughts
Improving low self-esteem isn’t a quick fix—it’s a gradual process of cultivating a more accepting and compassionate relationship with yourself. Be patient. Be kind. And remember, your worth isn’t something you have to earn—it’s something that’s already there, waiting to be recognised.
If you're ready to take the next step to explore your self-worth or want someone to walk alongside you and support you on this journey, you're welcome to reach out. I'm here.
Warmly, Molly
MBACP Psychotherapist
Comments